Caregiver guide

When to ask for help

• It has been more than two weeks
• You cannot sleep even when your child sleeps
• You cannot enjoy anything
• You feel disconnected from your child
• You are having intrusive memories or nightmares about the birth
• You are avoiding medical appointments because of how they make you feel
• You are having thoughts of harming yourself or your child

That last one needs help today. In the United States, call or text 988, or call 1-833-TLC-MAMA. ³ These thoughts are more common than people say out loud and they are treatable.

Things that help

A birth debrief. A meeting with the team to go through what happened with the record in front of you. Many families describe it as the single thing that helped most with intrusive memories.

Treatment for post-traumatic stress. Trauma-focused therapies are effective. This is not something to wait out. ²

Your own postpartum follow-up. Postpartum care is meant to be an ongoing process rather than a single visit. ⁵

Respite. Someone else caring for your child so you can rest. Many Medicaid waivers fund it. ^{4 6}

Other parents. Almost every family says the same thing: the people who helped most were other parents in the same position. ⁷

Asking for help specifically

People want to help and do not know how. Vague offers go nowhere. Specific requests get said yes to.

Jobs I could hand to someone

Examples: a meal on Tuesday. The school run on Thursdays. An hour on Saturday so I can sleep. Sitting with my child during one appointment. Collecting a prescription.

Who I will ask, and when

My own appointments

These are the ones that get cancelled first. Write them down and keep them.

Appointment / date / for what

Numbers to keep

• 988 for any mental health crisis, by call or text.
• 1-833-TLC-MAMA, the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline, free at all hours. ³
• My own doctor:
• My child's coordinator:
• Someone I can call at 2 a.m.: